Building Blocks For Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem is one of those things that is both universally important and deeply personal (even idiosyncratic). For many years, sympathetic and good-natured parents and teachers sought to provide self-esteem teaching from the outside-in. Like putting gasoline (or electricity) into a car, they believed that because self-esteem is so important (true), providing it for kids would help them be happier and healthier.
Psychologists who study self-esteem in children and adults have found that the “self” cannot be easily removed from the “esteem.” In other words, it is our ability to be effective in the ways that we ourselves want to be effective that is the real engine of self-esteem. So it seems that “self-efficacy” and “self-esteem” are two sides of the same coin. We are proud to support parents and teachers who recognize this and want solid resources to help them with this important topic in development.
Self Esteem begins with students discovering what it is they want to be effective at doing and then having the space, reflection and resources that can help them translate being effective into that gasoline-in-the-tank self-esteem.
It’s important to note that “self-esteem” is an adult concept - what students understand earlier in life is a feeling of pride in its place which later grows into self esteem. Students should be proud when they learn new things like a move they’ve been practicing in a favorite sport, mathematics problems in the classroom, great handwriting of letters, etc., and they should be proud when they learn something about themselves, too.
For Teachers, if you see, hear or witness kids being ‘proud’ that means your environment and classroom is supporting the development of their personal self-esteem. Be sure and call out little proud moments to help students develop that interpersonal relationship with themselves that proud = good! Proud is valued. The below classroom printable and in-classroom activity will help your students develop pride and a foundation for self-esteem.
🌟 In-classroom Activity - Building Blocks Of Self-Esteem 🌟
New! Printable. Setting Goals & Celebrating Accomplishments.
Write on your classroom board:
To Be Or Feel Proud: Very happy and pleased because of something you have done, learned or accomplished.
Host a live brainstorm:
Get students brainstorming and developing self-esteem by asking them:
What did you do this week that makes you proud?
Have you learned any new things lately that you want to share?
Did you achieve a goal recently that made you feel good?
When do you feel good about yourself?
Handout the printable and talk through the activity.
Speak with the class about setting goals and celebrating them.
Setting and accomplishing goals is a part of life and learning! Encourage students to think about anything they want to achieve. Perhaps one goal for school and one for outside of school, like something they want to
We build confidence by sharing:
When they are done with their worksheet, ask for a student or two to share a goal or something they have already accomplished!
Save the goal worksheet in a safe place.
Put these worksheets in their folders or a safe space to revisit the same time every month and have them self report on progress.
Set a reminder on your calendar the same day every month:
Set your reminder - Goal sheet review & check in with students!
For goals they have accomplished they can add a sticker (hooray!) or go through the exercise again, what do they need to be successful? etc.
For goals they haven’t met yet remind students, it’s okay to not meet every goal, that’s part of learning. And for BIG goals, they can write down what it will take for them to continue down the path to success.
Parent / Conference or take-home:
Have students take this home at the end of the week or if you’re setting bigger goals, you can include this in a parent<>teacher conference folder.
Suggest to parents / care providers that setting goals over the summer and throughout the school year leads to building self-esteem.
This in-classroom activity helps students express themselves in a safe space, so that they can begin to reflect with others. Such reflection is the foundation for self-reflection, a prototype of being mindful, and a solid foundation for their personal social emotional development and learning.
Taking the time to reflect with parents, siblings, teachers, and classmates around this discovery process is a good step toward social emotional growth. It furthermore serves as practice for taking those discoveries and sharing them with others - they learn that being proud from achieving things or being effective in other ways (it’s not just about achievement!) can become a source of motivation.
These are precisely the developmental foundations we would like students to have, the kinds that will help them create their own unique coin with self-efficacy on one side, and future self-esteem on the other.
Written by: Happy Sad’s Chief Resident Psychologist, David Zeitler
